Success is not just about winning world titles. I always thought to be a good female leader in Jiu-Jitsu (and the martial arts community in general) that I would have to be a world champion at black belt. But I also realized my students don’t train under me because of what I have achieved, but who I am. They train under me because I hold myself to a high standard as a black belt in every aspect of my life.
Truth is, you don’t have to be a black belt to hold yourself to a higher standard. It's in all the small decisions you do, that work for you or against you. Because as we navigate through the challenges on the mats (and even off the mats) people are watching, whether we like it or not. And when we are challenging ourselves to always do what's right and always do our best in integrity (even in the hardest situations). . . that inspires others. Because if we can do it, they can too.
One of the most powerful moments I have had is when one of my students walked up to me and said ‘you know when you live your entire life wanting to meet your hero, but you're scared to meet them because they might not be all you hoped they are? Well, your more than I hoped you would be.’. (Yep, let the tears flow. Were all babbling brooks. Me definitely I unashamedly admit).
But let’s be honest, that is success. World title or not, what happens every single day on those mats to encourage, inspire and empower is what success is. The world title at black may come - but it’s not the definition of success. To live through my challenges and defeats in training to empower others they can do the same.
Isn’t money the biggest part of success?
Well. Let’s think of this a different way. When you win the lottery, what is one of the first things you might do? Call someone to enjoy it with them (well, maybe after you’ve paid all your debt and bought a car, gotten a starbucks…)
What is the value of money if we don’t have anyone to share it with. Because, in sharing this we create experiences. Money is a currency that can always be replaced, relationships and experiences cannot - choose wisely. Why do we talk about money? Because in owning an Academy there can be money stresses. But never let the important work replace the necessary work that is done on the mats every single day. Building relationships and creating those experiences. One can be replaced, the other can’t. Recognize the value of currencies.
Success is not always about being strong.
Because being open and vulnerable about the losses and mistakes allows those around us (students, training partners, our bright blue eyed kids class, etc) to make a connection with us. We aren’t invincible, we are human, and we aren’t that unlike the average person. But what sets us apart from the average person is what we did with those failures and mistakes. They don’t think less of us for the weakness, but they actually think higher of us because we turned it into strength, and if we can do that - they can do too.
Success is doing what makes you happy
We all know things that make us happy. Resting, Netflix, cookies and coffee - things like this. But what else makes us happy? We are created to grow, change, evolve and give back. This is why people become so depressed when they are stagnant. We are created to be challenged. These things are hard but they are what make us come alive. From training to teaching or coaching. Our purpose on this odd little planet is far more than just ourselves. Challenges are not only a good thing - but necessary. So the challenge becomes to look deeper into what we can do to grow and give back. It goes hand in hand.
Success is a package of many different things, and doesn’t boil down to particularly one thing or another. It looks different to different people.
You might be successful and not even realize how successful you are.
But remember that one of the most dangerous things in life I think is to misunderstand what success really is, or to think that it is only one thing. Everything in life is a currency. Some can be replaced, and some can’t:
Money and things can be replaced.
Time, relationships and experiences cannot be replaced.
We have to invest in all of the above currencies, but just be aware of where you invest the most in.
Success is not the key to happiness, happiness is the key to success. If you love what you are doing, then you will be successful. -Albert Schweitzer
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